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At
the heart of the city was a river. At four in the morning
its cold, deep scent seeped through deserted streets
and settled in the shadows between warehouses. I walked
carefully, unwilling to disturb the quiet. The smell
of the river thickened as I headed deeper into the warehouse
district, the Old Town, where the street names changed:
Dagger Lane, Silver Street, The Land of Green Ginger;
the fifteenth century still echoing through the beginnings
of the twenty-first.
Then
there were no more buildings, no more alleys, only the
river, sliding slow and wide under a bare sky. I stepped
cautiously into the open, like a small mammal leaving
the shelter of the trees for the exposed bank.
Rivers
were the source of civilization, the scenes of all beginnings
and endings in ancient times. Babies were carried to
the banks to be washed, bodies were laid on biers and
floated away. Births and deaths were usually communal
affairs, but I was here alone.
I
sat on the massive wharf timbers--black with age and
slick with algae--and let my fingers trail in the water.
In
the last two or three months, I had come here often,
usually after twilight, when the tourists no longer
posed by ancient bale chains, and the striped awnings
of lunch time bistros were furled for the night. At
dusk the river was sleek and implacable, a black so
deep it was almost purple. I watched it in silence.
It had seen romans, vikings, and mediaeval kings. When
I sat beside it, it didn't matter that I was alone.
We sat companionably, the river and I, and watched the
stars turn overhead.
I
could see the stars because I had got into the habit
of lifting the grating set discreetly in the pavement,
and cracking open the dark blue box that controlled
the street lighting. It pleased me to turn off the deliberately
old-fashioned wrought-iron lamps whose rich, orangey
light pooled on the cobbles and turned six centuries
of brutal history into a cosy fireside tale. So few
people strolled this way at night that it was usually
a couple of days, sometimes as many as ten, before the
malfunction was reported, and another week or so before
it was fixed. Then I left the lights on for some random
length of time before killing them again. The High Street,
the city workers had begun to whisper, was haunted.
And
perhaps it was. Perhaps I was a ghost. There were those
who thought I was dead, and my identity, when I had
one, was constructed of that most modern of ectoplasms:
electrons and photons that flitted silently across the
data nets of the world.
The
hand I had dipped in the river was drying. It itched.
I rubbed the web between my thumb and forefinger, the
scar there. Tomorrow, if all went well, if Ruth would
help me one last time, a tadpole-sized implant would
be placed under the scar. And I would become someone
else. Again. Only this time I hoped it would be permanent.
Next time I dipped my hand in the river it would be
as someone who was legitimate, reborn three years after
arriving naked and nameless in the city.
The
first thing she thought when she woke naked on the cobbles
was: Don't roll onto your back. She lay very
still and tried to concentrate on the cold stones under
hip and cheek, on the strange taste in her mouth. Drugs,
they had given her drugs to make her stop struggling,
after she had....
Don't
think about it.
She
could not afford to remember now. She would think about
it later, when she was safe. The memory of what had
happened shrank safely back into a tight bubble.
She
raised her head, felt the great, open slash across her
trapezoid muscles pull and stretch. Nausea forced her
to breathe shallowly for a moment, but then she lifted
her head again and looked about: night, in some strange
city. And it was cold.
She
was curled in a foetal position around some rubbish
on a silent, cobbled street. More like an alley. Somewhere
at the edge of her peripheral vision the colours of
a newstank flashed silently. She closed her eyes again,
trying to think. Lore. My name is Lore. A wind
was blowing now, and paper, a news printout, flapped
in her face. She pushed it away, then changed her mind
and pulled it to her. Paper, she had read, had insulating
qualities.
The
odd, metallic taste in her mouth was fading, and her
head cleared a little. She had to find somewhere to
hide. And she had to get warm.
Rain
fell on her lip and she licked it off automatically,
feeling confused. Why should she hide? Surely
there were people who would love her and care for her,
tend her gently and clean her wounds if she just let
them know where she was. But Hide, said the voice
from her crocodile brain, Hide!, and her muscles
jumped and sweat started on her flanks, and the slick
grey memory like a balloon in her head swelled and threatened
to burst.
She
crawled towards the newstank because its lurid colours,
the series of news pictures flashing over and over in
its endless cycle, imitated life. She sat on the road
in the rain in the middle of the night, naked, and bathed
in the colours as if they were filtered sunlight, warm
and safe.
It
took her a while to realize what she was seeing: herself.
Herself sitting naked on a chair, blindfolded, begging
her family to please, please pay what her kidnappers
wanted.
The
pictures were like a can opener, ripping open the bubble
in her head, drenching her with images: the kidnap,
the humiliation, the camera filming it all. "So
your family will see we're serious," he had said.
Day after day of it. An eighteenth birthday spent huddled
naked in a tent in the middle of a room, with nothing
but a plastic slop bucket for company. And here it was,
in colour: her naked and weeping, a man ranting at the
camera, demanding more money. Her tied to a chair, begging
for food. Begging....
And
the whole world had seen this. The whole world had seen
her naked, physically and mentally, while they ate their
breakfast or took the passenger slide to work. Or maybe
drinking coffee at home they had been caught by the
cleverly put together images and decided, what the hell,
may as well pay to download the whole story. And she
remembered her kidnappers, one who had always smelled
of frying fish, half leading, half carrying her out
into the barnyard because she was supposed to be dopey
with the drugs she had palmed, the other one, rolling
new transparent plasthene out on the floor of the open
van. She remembered the smell of rain on the farm implements
rusting by a wall, and the panic. The panic as she thought,
This is it. They're going to kill me. And the
absolute determination to fight one last time, the way
the metallic blanket had felt as it slid off her shoulders,
how she pushed the man by her side, dropped the fist-sized
jag of metal into her palm and turned. Remembered the
look on his face as his eyes met hers, as he knew
she was going to kill him, as she knew she was
going to shove the sharp metal into his throat, and
she did. She remembered the tight gurgle as he fell,
pulling her with him, crashing into a pile of metal.
The ancient plough blade opening her own back from shoulder
to lumbar vertebrae. The shouting of the other man as
he jumped from the van, stumbling on the cobbles, pulling
her up, checking the man on the ground, shouting, "You
killed him you stupid bitch, you killed him!" The
way her body would not work, would not obey her urge
to run; how he pushed her roughly into the van and slammed
the doors. And her blood, dripping on the plasthene
sheet; thinking, Oh, so that's what it's for.
Remembered him telling the van where to go, the blood
on his hands. The way he cursed her for a fool: hadn't
she known they were letting her go? But she hadn't.
She thought they were going to kill her. And then the
sad look, the way he shook his head and said: sorry,
but you've forced me to do this and at least you won't
feel any pain... And the panic again; scrabbling blindly
at the handle behind her; the door falling open. She
remembered beginning the slow tumble backwards, the
simultaneous flooding sting of the nasal drug that should
have been fatal...
But
she was alive. Alive enough to sit in the rain, skin
stained with pictures of herself, and remember everything.
A
taxi hummed past.
She
did not call out, but she was not sure if that was because
she was too weak, or because she was afraid. The taxi
driver might recognize her. He would know what they
had done to her. He would have seen it. Everyone would
have seen it. They would look at her and know. She could
not call her family. They had all see her suffer, too.
Every time they looked at her they would see the pictures,
and she would see them seeing it, and she would wonder
why they had not paid her ransom.
Her
hair was plastered to her head. The rain sheeted down.
She crawled into a doorway, realized she was whimpering.
She had to be quiet, she had to hide. She had to lose
herself. Think. What would give her away? She pulled
herself up to her knees, tried to look at her reflection
in the shop window, but the rain made it impossible.
She scrabbled around in the corners of the doorway until
the dirt there turned to mud on her wet hands. She smeared
the mud onto her hair. After thirty days, the nanomechs
colouring her head and body hair would be dying off
and the natural grey would be showing. Only the very
few, the very rich wore naturally grey hair. What else?
Her Personal Identity, DNA and Account insert. But when
she held out her left hand to the flickers of light
flashing in the doorway she saw the angry red scar on
the webbing between her thumb and index finger. Of course,
the kidnappers would have removed the PIDA on the first
day to prevent a trace.
She
was alone, hurt and moneyless. She needed help but was
afraid to find it.
It
was almost dawn before she heard footsteps. She peered
around the doorway. A woman, with dark blonde hair tucked
into the collar of a big coat, walking with a night
step: easy, but wary. One hand in her pocket.
"Help
me."
Her
voice was just a whisper and Lore thought the woman
had not heard, but she slowed, then stopped. "Come
out where I can see you." The kind of voice Lore
had never heard before: light and quick and probably
dangerous.
"Help
me." It came out sounding like a command, and Lore
heard for the first time the rounded plumminess of her
own voice, and knew that she would have to learn to
change it.
This
time the woman heard, and turned towards the doorway.
"Why, what's wrong with you?" The hand shifted
in its pocket, and Lore wondered if the woman had a
weapon of some kind. "Stand up so I can see you."
"I
can't." Trying to imitate the slippery street vowels.
"Then
I'll just walk along home." She sounded as though
she meant it.
"No."
She tried again. "Please. I need your help."
The
woman in the long coat seemed suddenly to shrug off
her caution. "Let's have a look at you then."
When she stepped closer to the doorway and saw Lore's
muddy hair and nakedness, she grinned. "You need
to get rid of the boyfriend or girlfriend that did this
to you." But when the light fell on Lore's bloody
back, the woman's face tightened into old lines, and
her eyes flashed yellow and wise in the sodium light.
She fished something out of her coat pocket, slid it
inside her shirt, and took off her coat. She held it
out. "This might hurt your back, but it'll keep
you warm until I can get you home."
Lore
pulled herself up the metal and glass corner of the
doorway, and stood. The woman caught her arm as she
nearly fell. "Hurt?"
"No."
It was numb now.
"It
will." That sounded as though it came from experience.
"It's too cold to stand around. Just put this on
and walk."
Lore
took the coat. It was heavy, old wool. The lining was
dark silk, still warm. "It smells of summer,"
and there were tears in her eyes as she remembered the
smells of sunshine on bruised grass, a long, long time
before this nightmare began.
"Put
it on." The woman sounded impatient. She was glancing
about: quick flicks of her head this way and that. Her
hair, free of the coat collar now, swung from side to
side.
Lore
struggled with the coat. She flinched when the warm
silk touched her back, but all she felt was a kind of
stretched numbness like the opening of a vast tunnel.
"My name...." Shock made her dizzy and vague.
"Who...."
"Spanner."
Spanner was scanning the street again. It was noticeably
lighter. Another taxi skimmed by. "Fasten the damn
thing up. And hurry."
On
that first night it seemed to Lore to be miles and miles
from the city centre to Spanner's flat. She learned
later that it was barely a mile and a half. It was not
that she had a hard time moving--on the contrary, she
seemed to skim along the pavement without effort--it
was more that the journey stretched endlessly and the
false dawn blended with the sodium street lamps to form
a light like wet orange sherbet that always seemed just
a moment away from fizzing, boiling off, leaving no
oxygen. Lore knew she was ill. She remembered the blood,
hers and his, the sharp plastic tick as it dripped
onto the plasthene.
She
had a vague impression of a shop window and railings,
and then stone steps. The stairwell was made of unfinished
brick. The mortar looked old. Spanner must have opened
the door then, because she found herself inside.
Spanner
did not turn on any lights; it was bright enough with
the street lights washing in through unshuttered windows.
Lore swayed in the middle of an enormous L-shaped room.
Several power points glowed at one end, like red eyes.
"You
need to sleep," Spanner said, "not talk. Here's
some water. Some painkillers." Her voice sounded
different in her own room, and she seemed to appear
and disappear, reappearing with things--a glass, some
pills; showing her the bathroom. It was like watching
a jerky, badly edited film. "Here's the mat."
A judo mat, by the west wall, under the windows opposite
the curtained opening to the short limb of the L, the
bedroom. "I'll turn up the heat. You won't be able
to bear anything on that back for a while. I don't think
we can do much about it tonight. Looks like it's scabbing
over. I'll get a medic for you in the morning, and we'll
talk then."
Lore
knew she must be saying things, responding in some way
she assumed reassured Spanner, but she was not aware
of it. Spanner touched a pad of buttons on the wall.
"I've set the alarm. If you need anything, or want
to leave, wake me."
Then
Spanner went into the bedroom and closed the curtain
behind her.
Lore
was alone. Alone in a room filled with shadows of furniture
she had never seen before, things that belonged to a
woman she did not know, in a city that was strange to
her. Alone. A nobody with nothing, not even clothes.
It was like being kidnapped again, but this time she
had no escape to dream of, nowhere to run to. Her sister
had killed herself. Her father was a monster who had
lied to her, year after year after year.
She
stood in the middle of the room, aware of the strange
smells and temperature, and knew clearly that she needed
this woman, Spanner; depended upon her, in a way that
was shocking. Lore's fear was sharp, undeniable as a
knife pressed against her cheek. It woke her up a little
from her dreamy shock state. She was thirsty.
The
bathroom was enormous; its window bare. It was too dark
outside to see much, but she thought there were perhaps
walls, and the remains of a path. She did not want to
put the light on, but she could make out a yellowing,
old-fashioned tub and huge, cracked black and white
tiles. The water ran from the bulbous taps under low
pressure, twisting like crossed fingers. She let it
pour over her fingers automatically, tasted with the
tip of her tongue identifying chlorine, fluorine, calcium...and
suddenly she was crying.
Her
fingers turned cold under the tap as she wept. She would
have to drink this water that wheezed out from old lead
pipes, would have to accept what she was given, from
now on, and she would have to like it.
When
she had finished crying, she splashed her face with
water and dried herself with a towel--Spanner's water,
Spanner's towel--and went back into the living room.
In
the street twenty feet below, a freight slide rumbled
to a stop but everything else was quiet. She looked
down at the judo mat and imagined trying to sleep on
it, face down, back towards the closed curtains of Spanner's
bedroom. Horribly vulnerable.
The
judo mat probably weighed less than twenty pounds but
it was awkward to handle. In the end she had to drag
it behind her like a travois. Several things fell as
she barged fifteen feet over to the east wall. She lay
on her stomach facing the shadows. The freighter moved
off again. She counted to two hundred and fifty one
before another passed. In the silence, she heard the
creak of a tree limb rubbing up against the bricks of
the outside wall.
As
the street lights faded and the sun came up, the red
eyes glowed less insistently and the shadows before
her shifted. An electronics workbench, she thought,
and tools....
Lore
dozed on and off until around ten in the morning, when
the noise of passenger slides and people passing by
on the street filled the room with a bright hum. There
was no sound from the bedroom.
The
living room was big, twenty by twenty-five at least.
The centrepiece of the shorter south wall was an elaborate
fireplace, cold and empty now. A variety of leafy green
plants stood on the hearth and on a low tin-topped table
nearby. There were some books, but not many. A rug.
Then the couch and coffee table, all well used, not
exactly clean. The carpet was rucked up where she had
dragged the mat over it last night in the dark. Squares
of bright sunlight pointed up the wear in its red and
blue pattern. The tree outside cast shadows of branches
and shivering leaves over the wall behind her. From
this angle, all she could see of it was the glint of
low morning sun through leaves already beginning to
turn orange and red, but the leaves looked big and raggedy,
like hands. Maybe a chestnut. She lay under its shadow
and tried to imagine she was at Ratnapida, lying on
the grass. The bird song was all wrong.
A
large proportion of the room at the north end was taken
by two tables and a workbench, all covered with screens,
data retrieval banks, a keyboard and headset, input
panel and what looked like some kind of radio and several
haphazard chipstacks, all connected together by a maze
of cable.
She
could not figure out what it was all for.
In
what Lore came to realize was a pattern, Spanner woke
up around midday. She went straight from bed to the
connecting bathroom, and about twenty minutes later
emerged into the living room via the kitchen door, carrying
two white mugs of some aromatic tea. The silk robe she
wore had seen better days, and in the daylight her hair
was the colour of antique brass. "Jasmine,"
she said as she held out a mug.
Lore
reached for the tea. The red scar between her thumb
and forefinger showed up clearly against the white ceramic.
Moving hurt. Spanner nodded to herself. "I called
the medic. He's on his way. And don't worry. He won't
report this. Or you."
Lore
felt as though she should say something, but she had
no idea what. She sipped at the tea, trying to ignore
the pain.
"I
know who you are," Spanner said softly. "You
were all over the net." Lore said nothing. "I
don't understand why you're not screaming for Mummy
and Daddy."
"I'll
never go back."
"Why?"
Lore
stayed silent. She needed Spanner, but she did not have
to give her more ammunition.
Spanner
shrugged. "If that's the way you want it. Can you
get any money from them?"
"No."
Lore hoped that sounded as final as she felt.
"Then
I don't see how you're going to repay me. For the medic.
For the care you look like you're going to need for
a while. Do you have any skills?"
Yes,
Lore wanted to say, but then she saw once again the
red scar on the hand wrapped around her tea cup. How
would she get a job designing remediation systems, how
would she prove her experience, without an identity?
"My identity...."
"That's
another question. You want to get a copy of your old
PIDA?"
"No."
The pain was hot and round and tight. The infection
must be spreading. Again, she thought of his blood mingling
with hers.
"Then
you'll need a new one. That costs, too. And what do
you want me to call you? I can't go around calling you
Frances Lorien Van Oesterling."
"Lore.
Call me Lore."
"Well,
Lore, if you want my help then you'll have to pay for
it. You'll have to work for me."
"Legally?"
Spanner
laughed. "No. Not even remotely. But I've never
been caught, and what I do is low down on the police
list--victimless crime. Or nearly so."
The
only "victimless" crimes Lore could think
of were prostitution and personal drug use.
Spanner
stood up, went to her work bench, brought back a slate.
"Here. Take a look."
Lore,
moving her arms slowly and carefully, turned it over,
switched it on. Wrote on it, queried it, turned it off.
She handed it back. "It's an ordinary slate."
"Exactly.
A slate stuffed with information. What do you use your
slate for?"
Lore
thought about it. "Making memos. Sending messages.
Net codes and addresses. Ordering speciality merchandise.
Appointments. Receiving messages. Keeping a balance
of accounts..." She began to see where this was
leading. "But it's all protected by my security
code."
"That's
what most people think. But it's not difficult to break
it. It just takes time and a good programme. Nothing
glamourous. This one..." She smiled. "Well,
let's see." She sat down at her bench, connected
the slate to a couple of jacks, flipped some switches.
"Can you see from down there?" Lore nodded.
On a readout facing Spanner numbers began to flicker
faster than Lore could read them. "Depending on
the complexity of the code, it takes anywhere from half
a minute to an hour. I've yet to come across one that--"
The numbers stopped. "Ah. An easy one." She
touched another button and the red feed light on the
slate lit up. "It's downloading everything: account
numbers, the net numbers of people called in the last
few months, name, address, occupation, DNA codes of
the owner...everything." She was smiling to herself.
"What
do you use it for?"
"Depends.
Some slates are useless to us. We just ransom them back
to their owners for a modest fee. No one gets hurt.
Often we couch things in terms of a reward for the finder.
No police involvement. Nothing to worry about."
"And
other times?"
Someone
banged on the door, two short, two long taps.
"That's
the medic." But Spanner did not get up to let him
in. "Better make up your mind."
"What?"
"Do
you want to work with me or not? Even if I don't let
him in, there'll be a small fee for call out, nothing
you couldn't repay when you're able. But if he comes
in here and works on you, then you'll owe me."
The
medic banged on the door again, faster this time.
"Sounds
like he's getting impatient."
Lore
had no clothes and no ID; she doubted she could stand.
"I'll do it."
Spanner
went to the door.
The
medic was not what Lore had expected. He was middle
aged, well-dressed and very gentle. And fast. He ran
a scanner down her back. "Some infection. It'll
need cleaning." He pulled out a wand-sized subcutaneous
injector.
"No,"
Lore said. "I'm allergic."
"Patches
too?"
She
nodded. He sighed. "Well, that's an inconvenience."
He rummaged in his bag. Lore heard a light hiss, felt
a cool mist on her back, tasted a faint antiseptic tang.
The pain disappeared in a vast numbness. She knew he
was swabbing out her wound but all she felt was a vague
tugging. "Clean enough for now." This time
he took a roll of some white material from his bag.
She shuddered, remembering the plasthene. He paused
a moment, then unwrapped a couple of feet and cut it.
It glinted. Some kind of metallic threads.
"What's
that?"
"You've
never seen this before?" Spanner asked. Lore shook
her head. The numbness was wearing off. "Here."
Spanner passed her a hand mirror. "Watch. It's
interesting."
The
medic, who did not seem to resent being cast as entertainment,
was smearing the edges of her wound with a cold jelly
and carefully laying the light material over it. Then
he unwrapped a few feet of electrical wire, attached
it with crocodile clips to the material.
"What--"
"Stretch
as much as you can."
"It
hurts."
"Do
the best you can. When this sets, it sets."
She
did.
He
plugged in the wires. Lore felt a quick, tingling shock
around her wound, and the gauzy material leapt up from
her back and formed a flexible, rigid cage over the
gash but still attached to her skin where the medic
had applied the cold jelly. He put away the roll and
the wires, took something else out of his bag. She watched
him carefully in the mirror. He held it up. "Plaskin."
This time the spray was throatier, lasted longer. When
he was done, the raised white material, the jelly and
a two inch strip of skin around the wound were all that
pinkish bandage colour that marketers called "flesh."
She looked as though she had a fat pink snake lying
diagonally along her spine. He tapped it experimentally,
nodded in satisfaction. "You won't be able to lie
down on it or lean against it but you should be able
to wear clothes in an hour or two, and the wound can
breath. For the next ten days bathe as normal. The plaskin
will protect it. I'll come back to take it off, make
sure everything's all right." He put two vials
of pills on the floor by her face. "This is all
I have for now in the way of antibiotics and antivirals
in pill form." She could feel the drying plaskin
begin to tug at the healthy skin on her back. "Is
the pain very bad?"
"Yes."
He
knelt and Lore felt a cold wipe, then the sliding pinch
of a needle in the muscle at her shoulder. She could
feel the drug spreading under her skin, like butter.
He stood and said to Spanner, "This cream is for
when the plas comes off. It'll need rubbing into the
scar three times a day to keep it supple. I don't have
any painkillers at all in pill form."
"I've
used needles before."
Lore
wondered how Spanner knew about needles, but it did
not seem to worry the medic. He pulled out his slate.
"What name do you want to use?" He looked
from one to the other.
"Lore
Smith," Spanner said.
He
scribbled. "This prescription is for the drug and
disposable needles." He looked up. "Which
pharmacy--the Shu chain do?" Spanner nodded, and
he pressed the send button, tucked the slate back in
his pocket. "They'll keep it on file for seven
days, after that it's invalid. Keep the dosage down
if you can. And don't give it to her more than every
six hours."
Lore
did not like being discussed as though she was not there,
but the painkiller was coating her face with ice and
her brain with cobwebs. She lay in a daze as they moved
off towards the door, still talking. He seemed unsurprised
by her injury. She wondered what kinds of trauma he
was used to dealing with, and how people usually got
the kind of hurts that they did not want disclosing.
Knife wounds, gunshots...
She
fell asleep, woke up to swallow the two pills Spanner
held out; a needle, in her buttocks, this time. She
slept again. When she woke properly it was dark and
she was covered with a soft quilt. She breathed quietly.
Where the cloth touched the plaskin covering her wound,
it did not hurt. She smiled at that. Such a simple thing,
to not hurt.
Spanner
was working at her bench, sharp halogen light pooling
in front of her. She reached out, took a data slate
from the pile in the shadow, hooked it up to a small
grey box, read something from the screen, laid it aside,
took another slate.
Lore
watched her for a while. This woman knew all about her:
her name, age, family. If she cared to check, she could
get information on education, hobbies, friends. Yet
Lore knew nothing about her, did not even know if she
had had any school, if she had ever been hurt, ever
seen a medic under her real name. If she even had a
real name. Some people, she knew, were illegitimate
from birth--the fact of their existence not recorded
anywhere. But that line of thought was too frightening.
She yawned loudly.
Spanner
swung round in her chair. "I was beginning to wonder
if I'd given you too many pills. How do you feel?"
"Thirsty.
And I need some clothes."
"Both
easily fixed." She stood up, disappeared into the
shadow. Red power points glowed from the dark. She brought
back an old, soft shirt, some underwear, trousers. No
shoes, Lore noticed, but then she doubted she would
be going anywhere for a while.
"We're
about the same size, I think." Spanner went into
the kitchen.
Lore
sat up, sucked her cheeks in at the pain but made no
noise. She pulled on the clothes.
Spanner
brought back water, and coffee. She set Lore's by the
judo mat, took her own back to the bench.
Lore
watched her a while.
Spanner
turned partway back towards her, impatient now. "What?"
Her face glowed oddly in the white halogen and red power
indicators. Like one of those late sixties paintings
that looked like a vase and then turned out to be two
faces, Lore thought. She shook her head. Probably the
drugs.
"If
stealing from slates is so easy, then don't you worry
someone will do the same to yours?"
Spanner
made a huffing sound, halfway between amusement and
cynicism. "I don't often carry one. Or a phone."
The
only time Lore had not carried a slate was on the grounds
at Ratnapida. Even then, it had made her feel naked:
unable to reach or be reached. Also untraceable. Probably
what Spanner liked. "But when you do," she
persisted.
"Then
I use this." She slid open a drawer and pulled
out an ordinary looking slate. "It's almost empty.
I clean it every time I get back here. Take a look."
She extended her hand. Lore had to drag herself up from
her mat.
She
looked it over, spotted the metal and ceramic protuberance
immediately. "What's this?"
"A
lock."
"But
you said any code could--"
"It's
not a code. It's an old-fashioned insert-key-and-turn
lock. No one knows how they work anymore. Safe as the
most modern encryption. For most people."
"Most?"
"Hyn
and Zimmer are so old that they remember some things.
And they've taught them to me. But that's all beside
the point. This lock is like my tracking device. If
someone is sharp enough, but dumb enough, to steal a
slate that belongs to me, I'll want to know who they
are. After they've tried to puzzle out this monster,
they'll assume--wrongly, of course--that there must
be some fabulous secrets on here, so sooner or later
they'll start asking around for anyone who knows anything
about locks. And I'll track them down. And then we'll
have a little chat."
Lore
looked at the bump of metal and ceramic on the plastic
slate. A little chat. She thought of the medic
who patched up ragged wounds without comment.
When
it got too cold by the river I walked to the city mortuary
and leaned against the wall, just outside the circle
of heavy yellowish orange street light, and waited for
Ruth. Dawn was well enough along to turn the lights
into unpleasant turmeric stains on the pavement by the
time Ruth stepped through the gates. I was shocked at
how tired she looked.
"You
look as though you could do with some coffee."
"No.
I just want to get home." Her voice was listless.
She handed me a thin box. "Her name and details
are in there, too. She's a bit old but otherwise she's
a very good match. From Immingham. Anyway, it's the
best I could do."
It
was a small box. I rattled it dubiously. "Everything's
there?"
Ruth
nodded. "Though it's not a full set of fingers.
The corpse was missing thumb and index from her right
hand, but then I remembered you were left handed, so
it shouldn't matter too much." She hesitated. "Lore,
this has to be the last time."
I
understood, of course. Between us, Spanner and I had
done some pretty low things. Some of them to Ruth. I
tucked the box into an inside pocket. "How have
you been?"
"We're
managing. I go back on days soon. I'll be glad when
I've finished with nights. I feel as though I haven't
seen Ellen for weeks. She's just leaving as I get home."
I
envied them even that. "When you're back on the
day shift it would be nice if you both came over for
an evening."
"If
you like." Ruth was too tired to hide her indifference.
She turned to go.
"Ruth..."
Maybe it was something in my voice, but Ruth stopped.
"I mean it. I'd really like you to come. Just to
talk. No favours. That other thing, the film. It's not...it
won't...." I took a deep breath. "Things are
different now. I'm not with Spanner anymore."
For
the first time since she had walked out of the morgue
gates, Ruth looked at me, really looked at me. I don't
know what she saw, but she nodded. "We'll come.
I'll call you."
At
the river-taxi wharf, it was too early for the usual
tourist hubbub so I took my coffee to a private corner
table. The sun was coming up behind me, slicking the
black-paned privacy windows and newly-pointed brickwork
of renovated dockside buildings bloody orange, like
overripe fruit. Copters buzzed and alighted like wasps.
I
slid open the box and took out the neatly printed flimsy.
Bird,
Sal. Female. Caucasian. Blood type A positive. D.O.B....
Twenty-five. Four years older than me. It could have
been worse. And all the other details could be fixed.
In time.
The
tiny black PIDA was in a sealed bag with a note attached
in Ruth's handwriting, Already sterile. Next
to it was a plaskin pouch, the size of a pink cockroach.
Frozen blood, for DNA tests. It did not feel
cold. I slid the box open further, wondering if Ruth
had forgotten the print moulds, and then smiled.
"Bless
you, Ruth." Inside, instead of the print moulds
I had expected, there were eight glistening plaskin
finger gloves. Ready to wear. I could get started today.
If Spanner would help.
Spanner
never got up until after noon. I went home and slept
for four hours. I had bad dreams: sweating bodies, moving
limbs, blood and plasthene. I woke up just before midday
and stared at the angle of green-painted rafters over
my bed. The room was long and narrow: bed at one end,
under the rafter; matting in the middle, underneath
the heavy old couch and spindly card table; larger table
with gouged veneer at the other end, under the wide
window. A ficus tree in a pot by the table. Beyond,
sky.
I
had to walk through the tiny kitchenette to get to the
bathroom. I almost banged my head on the rafter over
the tub. As usual, I felt dislocated. It was odd, to
wake up alone and nameless.
Not
for much longer.
It
was mid-afternoon by the time I got out to look for
Spanner.
Springbank,
the road that had once groaned under a thousand rubber
tires a minute, was now bobbled with grey vehicle ID
sensors and laced with silvery slider rails that glistened
like snail tracks in the late September sunshine. It
was the first day in two weeks I had not had to wear
a coat. Foot traffic was heavy, and sliders hissed to
a stop at almost every pole to pick up or drop off passengers.
The occasional smaller, private car hummed and dodged
impatiently around the tube-like sliders.
The
building, old and massive, was built of sandstone. The
sign over the entrance was a picture of a polar bear.
Inside, it was the same as all bars.
Spanner
was there. I threaded my way through the smell of stale
beer and newly washed floors towards the fall of dark
gold hair, and slid onto the stool next to her.
Spanner
lifted her head. We looked at each other a moment. It
was strange to not touch. "It's been a while."
"Yes."
It felt like a year, or an hour. It had been just over
four months. I beckoned the bartender and nodded at
the glass Spanner nursed between her hands. "A
beer and..."
"Tonic
for me."
There
had to be a reason she wasn't drinking. People changed,
but not that much. I tried to keep the tone light. "Waiting
for anyone in particular?"
"Just
sitting."
She
knew I knew she was lying, but I had gone past the stage
of being angry, of facing her with it. It was Spanner's
life, Spanner's body.
In
here, the bright sunshine was filtered by old bevelled
glass and well-polished mahogany to a rich, dim glow,
but it was enough to see the glitter in Spanner's eyes,
the way she kept glancing up at the mirror behind the
bar to see who came in the door. Her skin looked bad
and she had lost weight. I paid for the drinks.
She
sipped at hers. "How have you been?" She sounded
as though she did not really care about the answer.
"Well
enough." I hesitated. "Spanner, I've found
some work, a job I might take. I need your help."
She
finally dragged her attention away from the mirror and
looked at me. "What happened to all your noble
ideas about an honest living?" There was no mistaking
the edge of contempt in her voice.
I
had not expected this to be easy. "This is the
last time. I want a new ID, a permanent one. I want
to work, get an honest job."
"Ah.
You need my dishonest help so you can make an honest
living."
I
looked at Spanner's face, at the hard, grooved lines
by mouth and eyes that belonged to all those who had
lived on their wits too long, and wanted to take her
face between my hands, wanted to make her face her own
reflection, and shout, Look, look at yourself! Do
you blame me for wanting to earn my living in a way
that's not dangerous? In a way that no one will ever
be able to use to make me feel ashamed? But it had
never done any good before.
"I've
found a PIDA that might make a match. I need help with
it."
"Well,
as you always said, I'll do anything for money."
"Spanner..."
Even though I had tried to prepare for this, the pain
of reopening old wounds was sharp and bright. I took
a deep breath. "What's your price?"
"Let
me think about it a while."
We
both knew what she would ask, eventually. "Fine,
you do that, but I need the preliminary work completed
now, within the next couple of days."
Spanner
glanced in the mirror again, then at her wrist. She
was getting nervous.
"I
have an interview today," I pressed. "I should
be starting work tomorrow, or the day after."
"Fine,
fine. Come by the flat tomorrow." Her attention
was beginning to drift.
I
sighed and stood. "Your flat, then, tomorrow."
But she wasn't listening any more.
When
I reached the street door, a couple were just coming
in. They were laughing, wore expensive clothes, good
jewellery. I glanced back. Spanner was rising to meet
them.
Outside,
adjusting to the bright afternoon after the dim warmth
of the bar, I hesitated. Those two were trouble. Maybe
Spanner was too desperate for what they were offering
to notice the casual hardness of their faces, the way
their eyes had flickered automatically over the room
looking for exits, checking for weapons.
I
waited outside for nearly ten minutes before I realized
I could do nothing to help. I left reluctantly, wondering
why--after all she had done--I still cared.
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